“For Fellow Moms in a Place of Discouragement” by Melinda Verges

 The following is a guest post by Melinda Verges, a young mother and friend who wanted to share with you what God has taught her from His word about discouragement. Please take time to read, and comment and share your thoughts with her.

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 An idea came up twice in church last week: “Conviction” is God moving us to change in his direction. It’s a cleansing, forward motion. “Guilt,” on the other hand, is the devil trying to hold us back, to make us feel inadequate for God’s direction. It makes us want to backtrack. And hide.

 We all have those moments of guilt. Maybe it’s the house that never gets clean. Dinner that always seems to be thrown together. Or guilt over needing to work while your child is in daycare.  Perhaps you’ve been chronically sick and need extra help just to take care of the basics. Sometimes it hits us in questions. Am I disciplining the right way? Am I giving my child the best future? I always feel like a wreck…does my husband still think I’m attractive? Am I even cut-out to be a mother?

 These guilty thoughts can be destructive. This feeling that we are unable and fall short…our thoughts of failure—maybe it’s more a lack of faith that God can still use us.

 And Moses said unto the Lord, O my Lord, I am not eloquent, neither heretofore[before now], nor since thou hast spoken unto thy servant: but I am slow of speech, and of a slow tongue. And the Lord said unto him, Who hath made man’s mouth? or who maketh the dumb, or deaf, or the seeing, or the blind? have not I the Lord? Now therefore go, and I will be with thy mouth, and teach thee what thou shalt say.” {Exodus 4:10-12}

 Here, God is commanding Moses to have faith in God’s ability. We forget that we are “fearfully and wonderfully made,” that God gives us what we need to carry out the jobs he asks of us—yes, even us moms.

 “For thou has possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. My substance was not hid from thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them. How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God! how great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they are more in number than the sand: when I awake, I am still with thee.” {Psalm 139:13-18}

 He cared for us before we were born. He chose the family we would be born into (no matter how crazy it might be). Every situation we’ve been through has helped shape who we are today. And that goes for our children as well. They weren’t born to us by accident. God knew our mothering would fit our children. “I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” We get so focused on our negatives that we forget that we have good qualities as well. Our pastor often says, “Thinking people are thankful people.” Taking time to thank God for our strengths (yes, you have them!) can be a lifeline out of a hole of discouragement. Even in our lowest moments, we never stop being a child of God. “How precious also are thy thoughts unto me, O God!…when I awake, I am still with thee.”

 Here’s a comforting thought on how God sees us:

 He shall feed his flock like a shepherd: he shall gather the lambs with his arm, and carry them in his bosom, and shall gently lead those that are with young.” {Isaiah 40:11}

 The end of that verse is especially beautiful. God knows that mothers need gentle guiding. And he doesn’t ask us to do everything (or even most things) in our own ability and wisdom.

 “Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” {Philippians 4:6-7}

 Here, God is actually telling us to do “nothing” on our own. We’re supposed to need his help. In “every thing.” Perhaps your weakness is a physical or emotional impediment that God is leaving in your life instead of taking out…

 “And He said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” {2 Corinthians 12:9}

 God is bigger than our weaknesses; He can—especially when we can’t…When we realize God is the one in control.

 “Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.” {Matthew 18:4} We want our children to come to us when they need help. Sometimes, they even get in trouble when they do something without permission, something they were supposed to come to us for help. “But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble.” {James 4:6} God is our heavenly Father. As His child, He wants you to come to Him for help, too.

 Maybe you have a weakness in an area that can be changed. Instead of staying stuck with guilt about it, let God’s conviction move you to change in His direction. Again, this isn’t something He asked you to do on your own. Pray, of course. Go to God first. Search the scriptures. Even so, sometimes God allows struggles so big that we must seek help from the people around us. There are actually three different verses in Proverbs that recommend a “multitude of counsellors”: Proverbs 11:14, 15:22, and 24:6. Instead of giving up, seek counsel. Wise counsel. Ask one of the ladies in your church, perhaps a mother of children older than yours. Talk to your husband: he may not even realize you’re struggling. You can go to your pastor or even your pastor’s wife—it’s a privilege to seek the counsel of those who devote their lives to the study of God’s Word.  

 Do. Not. Give. Up. 

 Let God work.

 “Being confident of this very thing, that He which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ.” {Philippians 1:6}

 Here are some extra verses to encourage your faith. Perhaps you can find one to claim for yourself. Memorize it. Let God gently lead you in his direction. Here’s to living less by the guilt of failure, the fear of “I can’t,” and more by the faith of “God can.”

                                                      *          *           *

 “And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.” {Galatians 6:9}

 “I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and He shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord.” {Psalm 27:13-14}

 “Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.” {Philippians 4:8}

 “And now, Lord, what wait I for? my hope is in Thee.” {Psalm 39:7}

 “Hast thou not known? hast thou not heard, that the everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth, fainteth not, neither is weary? there is no searching of His understanding. He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might He increaseth strength. Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall: But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.” {Isaiah 40:28-31}

 “I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.” {Philippians 4:13}

  “Now unto Him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us.” {Ephesians 3:20}

 “Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that ye may abound in hope, through the power of the Holy Ghost.” {Romans 15:13}

 “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be toubled, neither let it be afraid.” {John 14:27}

 Ye are of God, little children, and have overcome them: because greater is He that is in you, than he that is in the world.” {1 John 4:4}

 “For God hath not given us a spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” {2 Timothy 1:7}

 

 

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About Gail Slawson

I am a 68 year old wife, mother and grandmother. After 48 years of marriage, my husband and I have been richly blessed with 4 wonderful children and their wonderful mates and 19 precious grandchildren, five of whom are already with the Lord and 2 great-grandchildren. My husband and I are busy retirees and reside in Baton Rouge, Louisiana where we serve the Lord Jesus Christ through Bible Studies, as mentors and greeters in our church and telling others about Him "as we go." Mark 16:15
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8 Responses to “For Fellow Moms in a Place of Discouragement” by Melinda Verges

  1. Caryn says:

    This is beautiful Mrs. Mindy!

  2. Renee says:

    Love this Melinda!

  3. Jennifer says:

    Well-said! Thanks for thinking of me. Good stuff.

  4. Haley says:

    What a wonderful read, Mindy! At least once a week I have all these crazy thoughts running through my head, and I always have to take a step back and remember who made me. He will always be here for me, and I often forget how much I *need* him, and He doesn’t want me to do everything! The verses you shared will be specifically written in my planner for those crazy days ahead! I’m so thankful to know you smile.

  5. Diana says:

    Wow what a great article! Thank you, Mindy!

  6. Jaimie says:

    Thanks for the encouragement, Mindy. We are so blessed to have God who is always willing and able to help us.

  7. Debra says:

    God offers us great encouragement in His word; I do get down thinking about how short I fall from what I should be in the Lord; thank you for these encouraging words!

  8. Melinda says:

    We all need God’s grace

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